I still wake up some days wondering when all of this is going to feel real. My guess is that it’ll feel real right around the time it’s over. Life’s funny like that.
“With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she’s more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound [what?!?] you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby’s increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world.” (Source.)
Check out the belly!!!! [Sorry about the exclamation points, but seriously!]
[Nine  Weeks / Fifteen  Weeks / Twenty-Three  Weeks]
The biggest thing that happened for me + the babe this week was an emotionally disturbing visit to the doctor at Kaiser. Apparently women are more prone to yeast and bladder infections during pregnancy, and I wasn’t spared [so not fun]. After a week of trying homeopathic remedies, I gave in and went to see a doc.
I got the usual ‘You do know you’re putting yourself and your baby at risk by having a midwife, don’t you?’ talk, as well as the guilt trip for declining the ultrasound… again. And for not coming in for ten weeks. I won’t even get into the guilt trip she laid on me for refusing to drink the infamous sugar-and-food-coloring gestational diabetes drink.
But I expected those things. What I didn’t expect was for the doctor to make me feel like I wasn’t progressing perfectly. First she told me that I was ‘measuring small’ for my due date, which she said she ‘couldn’t verify’ because I refuse to get an ultrasound [umm, hello, I can tell you for a fact when my last period was lady]. And after talking for a while, she ended our session by asking if I had any questions. I asked if it was alright that I wasn’t feeling a lot of full-on kicks yet, but lots of movement and flutters.
She responded with, ‘You SHOULD be feeling a lot of kicks by now.’
And that’s it.
So I let that sink in… the fear and doubt and overwhelmingness creeping in. And then my protective, instinctual, maternal side took over. I looked her dead in the eye and said, ‘but everyone’s different’.
She looked back at me and said, ‘yes, everyone is different. And if your placenta is forward-facing it may take longer for you to feel the baby kick a lot.’
Umm, so why wouldn’t you just say that?!
I left that clinic feeling completely defeated, doubting my own ability to trust my body. I truly appreciate having the option of western medicine, but sometimes I feel like doctors don’t know what to do with me because I’m going the ‘natural’ route and they don’t know how to serve patients without all their fancy technology like ultrasounds and amniocentesis tests. Regardless of my choices, I wish they would all just treat me as an individual who is making the most informed decisions based on what I know and believe.
Aside from that, here’s what’s happenin’ this week:
Bodily changes: Aside from the super uncomfortable bladder/yeast issue, my lower back has been in pain most days lately, especially after teaching my kickboxing classes. Yoga and wearing the belly brace help a lot, but after looking at those photos above, I can tell that my center of gravity is just shifting.
Alternative gestational diabetes options: Yes, there are alternatives. But I warn you: be prepared to argue your way through the process with your doctor [ridiculous]. I’m still not exactly sure what my process will look like [because my doctor brushed me off by the end], but I know that in a few weeks I’ll be going in first thing in the morning to take a fasting blood-sugar test. I believe I’ll go in later that week to take another blood sugar test after a meal. I’ll keep you updated.
Sleep: I’m glad to say that getting into a nightly ritual has greatly improved my sleep quality. And thank goodness, because I don’t do well without rest. I’ve also been taking 20-30 minute naps whenever I can, which help tremendously.
Ben’s parents get in on Friday and I’m so excited for the baby to hear their voices and feel their love in person!
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