I really did expect that everything would change once the little one came along, but in reality no amount of expectation or preparation could ever truly prepare me for motherhood.
As I look through the photos on my camera it really solidifies for me the fact that my life has indeed c.h.a.n.g.e.d. A few months ago I filled my SD card with photos of cashews and dairy-sugar-wheat-free desserts and spent hours on my own creativity. Nowadays, my life falls into 2 hour increments [as that’s the time between feedings], and the only face on my preview screen is this one:
And I couldn’t be happier about it.
Sure a part of me misses the days spent in the kitchen tweaking delicious healthy recipes and creating new pieces of jewelry, but a much bigger part of me looks over at my sleeping son and knows that THIS. IS. IT.
The real thing.
My purpose on this earth.
The past eight weeks [!!!] of my life have been nothing short of life-changing. Being a Mama is definitely the single-most intimidating and humbling experience, and yet it is also incredibly exciting, fun, and satisfying on a level I never imagined possible. Isaac + I are getting to know each other better and things have gotten easier by the day. And just when I think I’ve gotten into a groove, everything changes again.
I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have had my Mom home with me for support up until today, when she went back to work. Which means it’s my first full day of just Isaac + Mama! I’m also grateful to have a moment to finally check in on the blog as he sleeps soundly next to me [he’s really started to settle into a little rhythm], because aside from it just being Isaac + Mama from here on out, today is also the first day of Fall semester!
That’s right: my final year of grad school has officially commenced, and I am nowhere near prepared – either mentally or physically [I literally just ordered my books online yesterday]. Luckily, of my three courses only one of them physically takes place at the college for 3 hours each week [7-10pm – ouch], but I do have 16 practicum/intern hours to do each week that will take me away from my little guy. I’m so grateful to be surrounded by such great support so hopefully he can always be with family.
[My Mom – a.k.a. Glammaw – with Isaac. Go ducks!]
I better get going before he wakes again, but I am so excited to be sharing this adventure with you all, and to be back here on the blog! Oh how I’ve missed it! I have no idea what’s in store for GPD from here on out as far as food, creativity, and activity goes, but I’m sure I’ll fall back into a rhythm as life continues to move me along this course.
And because you’ve stuck with me after all this time, a few random updates:
- From before Isaac was conceived, I’ve been calling him/her La`akea [pronounced lah-ah-kay-ah], which translates from Hawaiian to mean Divine or Sacred Light, as I envisioned light in my womb. Although I had always thought of calling my daughter by the name, it’s unisex. Once he greeted us, I couldn’t kick the habit of calling Isaac La`akea [plus he truly is such a bright light], and so it was meant to be. Although his first name is Isaac, I personally almost always refer to him as La`akea. Also, Isaac is a family name from Ben’s great grandfather. Yitzak, the hebrew spelling translates from Kabbalah to mean Alchemist or One who has the ability to transcend and control the physical world.
- My mom has been doing all the cooking for the past 8 weeks [I’m totally not exaggerating]. In order to get my milk supply up, I did whatever was recommended and have eaten things I hadn’t ever imagined ingesting ever again, i.e. beef and chicken with marrow and whole milk. The things we do for our offspring.
- Breastfeeding has gotten much better, thank goodness, but every day continues to have its challenges.
- We’ve completely invested in cloth diapering but have yet to be able to use them because Isaac is such a long, thin baby. We have been using our homemade wipe solution and flannel wipes from the beginning, which has been working great, but I’m seriously excited for the day when I can strap on one of those awesome diapers!
- I’m actually more nervous about being able to sit from 7-10pm and stay awake than I am about keeping up with grad school work.
- It took me 4.5 hours to write this post between naps and feedings.
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